Dialing My Favorite Bleach Characters
by xYuzuki-Tachiox
Summary: Yuzuki is calling...to the world of Bleach. Be the few to listen in on her conversations. Review if you like, if you dont that's fine. Crack.


Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Call me. Talk to me. Don't sue me.

Yuzuki's Notes: I'm going to prank call some people...and that stuff...I was so hyper, I wrote this. I know, I sound so out of character...

**Dialing My Favorite Bleach Characters **

**Part 1: Torturing The Poor Quincy**

_Ring...Ring_

Uryu: Hello?

Me: Hello. Who is this please?

Uryu: Uryu Ishida.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry, he's not here right now.

Uryu: What? Who's not there?

Me: Uryu Ishida is not here.

Uryu: Wait a minute, I'm Uryu Ishida. You called-

Me: (interrupting) I'm sorry sir. Uryu Ishida just stepped out right now. May I have him call you back?

Uryu: YOU FOOL! I AM URYU ISHIDA! I didn't call him; I am him! You made this call!! I am Uryu Ishida!

Me: Please calm down, I'll have Uryu Ishida call you when he gets back, Actually, he just went across the street to get laid. We're having some serious problems with him.

_Beep..._

Me: Have a nice day!

**2:30 am**

_Ring Ring..._

Uryu: ...Hello...?

Me: Um...hello...is Skylar Markus there?

Uryu: Skylar who...?

Me: Skylar Markus...is he there?

Uryu: -growls- No. Wrong number.

_Beep...Beep..._

**Six Calls Later...**

Me: -in man's voice- Hello, is Uryu Ishida there?

Uryu: WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT?!

Me: Hey, this is Skylar Markus...any calls for me?

**Silence...**

Me: -crosses arms in X shape- BUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

_Beep...Beep_

**Part 2: Byaku-sama and Super Toilet**

_Ring...Ring..._

Byakuya: Hello...Captain Kukichi speaking.

Me: Hello Byaku-sama!

Byakuya: Uh...you again....what is it you want?

Me: I want a 1997 dodge challenger, with a huge skull on the hood, and a Dr. Pepper, and-

Byakuya: Will you go away?

Me: -sniffs- Wha...? WAH! BYAKU-SAMA IS A MEANIE WHAAA!!

Byakuya: -growls- I'm not a meanie!

Me: -shouts- Yes you are! You almost killed your own sister, and hurted Ichi-sama! And Kenpachi had to use the bathroom, and you forgot to flush! You big meanie who leave leftovers in the toilet!!

_Beep...Beep..._

Byakuya: I hate her.

_Beep...Beep..._

**Part 3: Own Him**

_Ring...Ring..._

Zangestu: Hello?

Me: Zangestu-sama! Hi!

Zangestu: Alright! Who gave the crazy woman my number?!

Me: Ichi-sama did. He said to call you up!

-rummaging-

Hichigo: Hello?

Me: Ew! It's the creepy white guy that looks so uglier than Ichi-sama!

Hichigo: Well. It seems I have a partner in crime. Yuzuki, no?

Me: Yup! I'm hyper today, so I call everyone in my phone book!

Hichigo: -hmm- Would you like to help me conquer Ichigo? You can have his mind or something...frilly that girls like...

Me: … I prefer torturing him. Besides. He owns you now!

Hichigo: …

Me: Oh! I get it! He owns..._you_!

Hichigo: You make me sick.

_Beep...Beep_

Me: La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. La. -playing the sweet innocent little girl act-

_Beep....Beep..._

**Part 4: Green Is The New Silver**

**3am...**

_Ring...Ring..._

Toshiro: Captain Histugaya speaking.

Me: Hey ya, Silver-sama!

Toshiro: You again...what is it this time?

Me: Oh nothing...I just wanted to call and say hi...

Toshiro: ...and?

Me: -giggles-

Toshiro: What?!

Me: Get outta bed and look in the mirror!

Toshiro: I don't know what you did but- **WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!**

Me: Green is an awesome color on you!

Toshiro: Your dead, Cross.

Me: -makes noise with tongue- Nah nah ah boo boo you smell like green doo doo!

_Beep...Beep..._

_Part 5: My Messages_

_The Next Day!_

_Yuzuki had messages on her answering machine..._

_Beep...Message 1...From Uryu Ishida_

_Uryu: SO IT WAS YOU!! YOU LITTLE..._

_Yuzuki erased this before it got to graphic in detail._

_Beep...Message 2...From Skylar (My nii-sensei)_

_Skylar: Hey ya, Yuzu-nee. I heard you were calling the Bleach Peoples. Good. Keep it up, my little apprentice. -crosses arms in X shape- BUWHAHAHAHAHA!_

_Beep...Message 3...From Ichigo_

_Ichigo: HEY! YOU SWITCHED MY RINGTONE! SO NOW EVERYTIME YOU CALL ME...IT PLAYS THAT DAMN I KISSED A GIRL SONG?! WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!_

_Beep....Message 4...From Byakuya_

_Byakuya: DID YOU STEAL MY SCARF AND SELL IT ON EBAY?! AND HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET MY MYSPACE PASSWORD?! I'M NOT HORNY TODAY!!_

_Beep...Message 5...From Nozomi (nee-san)_

_NEE-SAN!!! Hey! I heard you were calling Bleach Peoples....and I had to call you!! Total genius man! Ha...and how did Toshiro react to his 'Green' hair? See ya, nee-san! Call me! (but no pranks, plz)_

_Beep...Message 6...From VeggieVamp183 (my other nee-san she lectures me much, but I still love her!)_

_You're and idiot._

_Beep...Message 7...From Ichigo_

_DAMN YOU!!! _

_Yuzuki sighs. Yuzuki- That was heart warming, Ichi-sama._

_Beep...Message 8...From Ichigo_

_GO BURN IN A HOLE!!!_

_Yuzuki: -eh?- ...go...burn....in a hole? Is that the best he gots? (I know, bad english.)_

**THE END- FIN- The End- Not The Beginning-**

Me: I think they get it.

**THE END- NOW GO AWAY-**

Me: Hey! ^ You! The End person! Don't be mean to the readers! They wanna review so let them be!

**THE END- FOR REAL THIS TIME- NOW YOU MAY GO BACK TO YOUR NORMAL AND BORING LIVES**

Me: -grr- YOUR FIRED!!

**THE OLD NARRATOR WAS THEN FIRED SO THEY HIRED UKITAKE.**

Ukitake: **cough**...the...**cough**...end...**cough**...**sneeze**...

Yuzuki: -anime fall- This is hopeless...

Uryu: Review. So Yuzuki over here doesn't have a heart attack.

Yuzuki: YEAH! REVIEW! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!! URYU HOLD ME!!

Uryu: WAH?!


End file.
